Side Note: Please don’t get mad at me for not posting anything for the last 1 ½ months. Life got in the way but I sincerely apologize.
Rejection is hard for a lot of us to deal with and love can seem a bit risky. People who love whole-heartedly tend to shy away from putting themselves out there and finding the love they deserve because they fear rejection. How do you expect to find someone special or live your ultimate life when you shelter yourself?
We’re living in a world that’s afraid of the word ‘no’.This fear makes us too lazy to do the simplest things and the result is pure isolation. Then we’lltry to come up with a name for our “social phobia” so we can hide behind it. Whatever happened to us wanting to be better and grow? A key way to progressing in life is through human interaction. We miss out on so many wonderful moments when we’re glued to our phones, computers, and televisions.
All the internet did was make it harder for us to separate digital reality from the real world. We forgot how to talk to one another and accept each other as we are. Now, everyone is lost and content in their own opinionated dimensions instead of trying to combine realities and make sense of the world.
Do yourself a favor andstop complaining/whining about what you don’t want and need. If you know what you want, go make it happen. Just remember that rejection is a natural part of life. It's how you learn, grow and teach others. Everything will not work in your favor because everything isn't for you. It's not pessimism, it's just the truth. There are things in the world that we think we want but don't need. The same thing applies to relationships. Everyone you're attracted to will not reciprocate. Stop trying to force things to happen and stop thinking everything will be easy.
My friend Milo has these same problems. I thought he was just afraid to talk to women but he’s afraid to talk to anyone he doesn’t know. What irritates me the most is that he complains about this yet he’s complacent with the way things are. He keeps saying, “I don’t think I can do that Tai,” when I tell him to talk to someone. Milo doubts himself because he doesn’t know his full potential or worth. Most importantly, he can’t handle rejection.
I created this 4-Step Plan to help him defeat his fears:
1.Go to a busy area and speak to everyone you see.
All you’re really doing is saying simple greetings: “Hi,” “Hello,” “How are you today?” Just easing yourself into speaking.
2.Talk to yourself in the mirror.
I know how it sounds but this is a confidence builder.Shy people are usually insecure(I should know) and worried because they don’t know how they look or sound while they’re talking.This should help ease your mind a bit.Do a monologue or something.
3.Watch movies with similar situations. (Optional)
Hitch, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Neon Genesis Evangelion (for my anime fans), Rocket Science, Black Swan, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Perks of Being a Wallflower, etc.There is truth in every story.
4.Go to another crowded area and compliment people.
Mainly individuals you’re interested in.Ones you’re typically afraid to talk to.Who cares if they think you’re thirsty (desparate)?They’re just a prototype of your ideal love; practice.
5.Take what you’ve learned and make things happen.
Hopefully you learned how not to be a creep, what works and what doesn’t, and when to stop talking.Find yourself a good wingman.
These steps won’t make you foolproof. They’re just here to make you more comfortable with talking to human beings like a semi-normal person. Oh and if you’re naturally a creep, you’ll come across many roadblocks. Don’t worry though, you’ll find someone who likes it. In the meantime, try not to get arrested.
I was hardcore shy for 12 years so I know the struggle. But I wanted more out of life and was tired of being held captive. Missing out on sooooooooo many experiences was a daily ritual for me and if I can go from being hardcore shy to somewhat social, anyone can.
Remember: most people are just as shy as you are. You’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need some practice.