I still love my ex. I can say that with no hard feelings or bitterness and I’m comfortable with those words. Many of you will not say these things. You’d rather say you don’t care because you think it makes you look stronger. Then you end up relapsing and sleeping with your ex again. Had you been upfront about your feelings, whether they were mutual or not, you’d be ok right now. Being honest with yourself and others about how you feel helps the grieving process. Do you really think you can get over someone by not thinking about them?
You can’t keep running away. Especially from love. You’ll find someone new but you can’t fully love them because you’re denying love & pain from another. You hide behind “trust issues” that you created for yourself. It doesn’t matter if they cheated or hid things from you. It doesn’t matter if they broke up with you “out of nowhere.” What matters is how you learn from these lessons and grow. Stop wondering why you tend to attract the same people. You have built up feelings that you haven’t dealt with so the same people keep popping up. Then you’ll say they’re all the same…nope. That’s you again.
Everyone isn’t going to react the same to situations; I know. But if you truly want to let someone go, your grieving process should be similar. Get into your feelings (off of social media though). Call some friends over if you have some and vent; get it all out. If you still have gifts from your ex, keep what you want. I don’t care what anyone says, I’m keeping my ps4, desk, and iPod. When I look at these things, I see him but it’s more like a distant thought. I love my stuff! Take some time to yourself; stop talking to him/her for a while. Try to remember who you were before them. Gather what you learned from the relationship and use it to evolve. Note: you’ll never be the same person you were before and if that’s who you’re trying to be then you’ve learned absolutely nothing.
My mom told me that you need at least 3 months to yourself before jumping into the next relationship. Of course you’re going to miss the companionship but you need to be ok with being alone. Again, get to know yourself. Take some classes. Grow a plant (and keep it alive). Go see a movie or have dinner alone. Enjoy yourself. Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Get rid of that mindset, it will only hinder you.
It’s ok to love someone. It’s ok to be aware of your feelings (again, not on social media).