“What’s the matter with your life? Why you gotta mess with mine? Don’t keep sweatin’ what I do ‘cause I’m gonna be just fine…”The best song by Salt-N-Peppa (at least in my opinion). Every time I see negative comments on any social media site, I think of this song. I know that everyone will have an opinion about something but, my mother always told me, you only give your opinion when it is needed. You may be saying, “My opinion is always needed, Tai,” or, “I’m just being real.”
Yeah, ok. Just for fun, let’s say I posted a picture of me in a new outfit or something of that nature. If my caption says, “What do you guys think of my new clothes?”: your opinion is needed here. If the caption says, “Me in my new clothes,” or some other lame statement: your opinion is not needed here (though compliments are welcomed). So simple.
You’re not being real if no one asked you, therefore, don’t waste your finger muscles or clever, witty remarks in the comment section. Note: there are people who LOVE to gossip, so posts from places like Bossip or MediaTakeOut are perfect for your personal opinions.
Now that we have that cleared up it’s time to get to the subjectof this post. Ever since this Natural Hair Movement started, men and women have been shaming any Black woman with a perm. Anyone who wears a weave or braids. Basically, anyone who doesn’t appear to be natural. They say women who aren’t natural are “ashamed of their culture & heritage,” and, “they don’t love themselves.” Please think before you speak.
Stereotype n. a simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group.
These Black people, a.k.a., the Naturals Who Hate Unaturals (NWHU), are some of the same people who get offended by stereotypes given to Black people. Do you see the hypocrisy?
“Women who aren’t natural deny their race.” = “All Blacksare ignorant thugs.”
“Women who wear weave are trying to be white” = “Black people always pull the race card.”
Let me help you look at things differently. When I went natural I didn’t do it to make a statement. I did it because my mother and best friend inspired me to. I did a big chop and found that being in the twa (teeny weeny afro) stage bored me immensely. I loved having different hairstyles when I was “unnatural,” but every day since, I had a ‘fro. When you have a twa, you don’t have a lot of style options. So Monday, it’s an afro. Tuesday, it’s an afro with a headband. Wednesday, it’s an afro with a flower or hat. This did not appease me.
To keep myself from throwing all of this progress away for a perm, I decided to start coloring my hair. Though it’s “unnatural,” I didn’t do it because I hated myself or my hair color. I did it because it gave me more freedom to express myself. Hair is an accessory. How is this any different from someone who has a sew-in or gets perms?
Ladies, what you do with your hair is your business. You already know that.True, some of us don’t know how to care for our natural hair and some of us don’t have the time to figure out the proper regimens for our hair and what products work for us. Perms, sew-ins, etc. arenothing to be ashamed of.
Yes, some women hate their natural hair. But a lot of us want versatility while our hair is in the weird-length stage. Some of us want to get a weave to try different styles that we don’t want damaging our real hair. We want freedom to express ourselves any way we want. What is there to judge?
You can have opinions about social injustices, first world problems or places where your opinion can actually make a difference. Instead you go around the internet commenting on peoples’ pictures, whom you don’t know, trying to make them feel insecure and pathetic. You’ll either be wasting your time or succeed in making someone who didn’t hate their self before, feel worthless now.
What’s the difference between cyber bullies, physical bullies, and verbal bullies? The platform. If you’re against bullying but you’ll shame someone for what they do with their physical appearance, you’re a bully. You do what you can from where you are to affect your “opponent.” Homophobic people hate/shame homosexuals for their lifestyle. You hate/shame people for their lifestyle. What’s the difference? There needs to be some type of Acceptance & Unity Movement and Douche Bags Anonymous sessions.
We need to start accepting one another as we are, whether we like it or not because at the end of the day, it’s none of our business.